Overtime I reached this point where something inside me shifted and I got sick of waiting on someone to come and save me or accept me and I told myself "look Maria you can’t keep letting your experience keep taking you down" and at that time my own voice had ever made as much sense until that point. I told myself no one would listen to me and therapist couldn’t fix me and I’ve had enough of losing everyone around me.
If no one can help me then I have to find a way to help myself. I had to learn how to forgive myself and love myself and this idea, this realization that me being raped wasn’t my fault! Me being taken from my parents wasn’t my fault! The fact that my mother allowed men to come and have sex with me and my sister wasn’t my fault!
I came to the point that I had to learn how to forgive my parents and let go of everyone that hurt me. It happened and I had no control over it.
I want more out of this life and I can’t continue this way. Granted it was a terrible process letting anyone into my life.
Why now at age 26 am I sharing any of this now? Since I was 13 years old I’ve wanted to share my story but never had the courage to do so. There isn’t a bone in my body that is looking for sympathy in any fashion nor take the attention from anyone because I do know people before me have gone through far worst than me and will go through worst than what I’ve experienced.
Trust me it's not easy sharing any of this with you!
I am in hopes to be an inspiration to real people who have gone through this far to common crisis that have never had a real platform to express themselves....
These are My Steps and My Story………
For once among all of us I am aware that Men and Women experience being raped, mentally and physically abused and I hope to shift the ideas of how to overcome this and for just a moment when we see a person close to us or from afar we could be mindful, aware of the signs of someone who is or have gone through this. For a moment we can take a moment to think about what if I truly walked in there steps or knew there story, would knowing that change my approach.
FAMILY...HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A BLOODLINE!
During my trials I learned what... REAL FAMILY is. And family starts with...ME!
I don’t believe being raped will ever cease to happen for we may never understand or know why this happens, but I do know we can forgive and allow ourselves to love and still be loved even with our experiences. I believe what we go through can either be a testimony to help other people or it can be something that happens to us that leaves us lifeless. Let's learn together how we can turn our experiences to bless those before and after us.
I look forward to our journey together, with the right mindset I believe we are some of the strongest individuals in the world. Thank you for sharing your steps and your story! We will inspire Millions of people not only have experienced this but also those who have never experienced this. We are Survivors!!
The moment you start LOVING YOU...all those that have hurt you
will soon be a vision in your past. You will then start to see the TRUE YOU and at the end of the day...that's the only one that matters...YOU! Don't ever let NO ONE stunt your growth!